A few scenes from the Wall household:

Scene 1: Herring, Sweet Potatoes, and Laddie
Ran out of dog food the other day. Remembered on a Saturday late morning as I was driving through the vast commercial wilderness known as Cottage Grove. Can’t get to the vet for the prescription diet before they close.

I spot a pet store, and hastly pull in. Manage to find a variety of wheat-free dog foods, just what Laddie needed. I choose the Herring and Sweet Potato formula because herring and sweet potatoes are two of John’s favorite foods. If Laddie and Sydney won’t eat it, maybe John will.

The dogs love the food. As you might guess, it’s a little smelly when you open the bag. Rachel refuses to feed the dogs, because of the smell. But’s that’s not the worst.

While the food is perfect for Laddie’s wheat allergy, it has a smelly side effect: herring and sweet potato dog farts. That hang in the air for hours. An aroma that clings to your clothes. A smell that will make you bold upright in your bed in the middle of the night.

Scene 2: Hidden Talents
At an impromptu gathering at my house, it was discovered my friend’s daughter has a hidden talent. Because there are minors involved, we will just say it has to do with precision-timed flatulence. The adults in the crowd were ROTFLOAO.

It’s a good thing we were all outdoors, although I’m sure our neighbors thought we were nuts.

Scene 3: How to Fill an Empty Closet
We have a 5 x 5 closet upstairs. The City of St. Paul says this is a half bath. Right now, it is empty except for pieces of the vanity, and the box that contains the toilet bowl. Earlier this weekend, John had the toilet bowl out of the box so we could determine the final layout of the bathroom.

Barely 5 minutes after I told Rachel she should not consider the toilet functional, I find John sitting on said toilet, pondering the universe. Then waving his arms, as if he was doing a Toilet Time version of the Funky Chicken. Ponder. Funky Chicken. Rinse and repeat.

Yes, he was fully clothed. The arm waving was to make sure there was plenty of room to move his arms. Maybe he’s not planning to add an exhaust vent. Thank goodness there is a working window in the closet.

Speaking of room, do you think it would be crude to put a mini-bar in the bathroom? There’s space in the corner…

The High Price of Gas
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